Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
