Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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