Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
