You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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