Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
