when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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