On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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