he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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