I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
