I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
