I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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