If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
