R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
