I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
