My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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