his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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