That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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