I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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