apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
