So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
