I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
