Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
