Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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