How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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