Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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