you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
