Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Houston, we have a squirter
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
