just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
