Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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