So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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