big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Randomize
