Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
