I think I am morally bankrupt
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
