no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
