so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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