id be glad to
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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