I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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