I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
