anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
