I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
