dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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