And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
