Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
