You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
