oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
