I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
