she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
