One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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