Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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