sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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